Groped and Jacked

"You should have him fired" - "Call and report him"- "What do you get if you buy 6 tires"?

One of my least favorite tasks is to buy tires for my truck. I usually wait until I absolutely have to, before I let go of my Cash. It's silly really, not to just bite the bullet, but those babies cost about $500. and I have so many things I'd rather spend $500. on. Im sure you do to.

• So I travel about Oakland searching for the best deal on tires I can find and collect quotes from different businesses and I think Iv'e found what is a great deal. I show this tire salesman all my quotes and he laughs and shows all his workers, they laugh and say, we will beat all their prices, they are ripping you off. I'm Smiling, THey are smiling, it's a win win . I'm thinking how smart am I to shop around. He says that he has to order the tires from the main warehouse and to come back. I ask him to write down his price on his card, but he doesn't seem to like this suggestion. He does it anyway.
• Yesterday afternoon, I drive over to the shop and a different crew is working, I tell the man who approaches exactly what I want. Four tires at $65. each out the door. All costs included. This somewhat youthful pakistani man with bright smiling eyes and a very long beard asks me to follow him into the shop, at once my body sais, "STOP! Don't go in." so what do I do, I walk in thinking, nothing going to happen. He leads me through to the back and to the base of a stair case. and is calling up to someone. I dont hear a reply but he keeps calling up to someone. He then beckons me to follow him up stairs to the tire stacks.
• NOW-my body was exceedingly clear. It told me NO. Dont go! SO why did I override this warning, When did I learn to ignore my body and doubt my gut instinct.
• I've heard it said that when a man shaves his beard, he trims off his instincts. Probably a leftover from the Sampson and Dellilah Myth. Im not sure, Maybe having shaved very well that morning has clouded my judgement. Who knows...
• The point is, I went right up those stairs anyway, because...and here come the mental rationalizations..
• 1. 'I'm getting a deal and this man may need my help bringing them down'.
• 2.'He's new and unsure of protocol.
• 3.'He's taking me to the boss whose up there.
• 
  
• These thoughts are followed by..
• 
  
• "They never let customers inside because of insurance regulations"
• "Something is wrong with this situation"
• "You don't want to be alone with this man"
• "These tires are cheap, Get up there"
• and my favorite..."Be a Man Damnit!(such bullshit)

So wouldn't you guess, I get up there and he starts to get to close. I mean in my face all smilling and seductive, eyes flashing, teeth grinning and his HANDS moving right for my Pants. "You Like? You Like, My friend...you like?" I'm in shock... Sort of like an OX in the headlight of a swiftly moving train...and the brain sais,

• "This isn't happening"
• "He's Kind of cute"
• "What the Fuck"
• "The Tires are Cheap"
• "He's so nice I don't want to offend him"(whats that?)
• "What if he doesn't want to stop and I CANT stop him?"
• "I know this situation, Iv'e been here before"
• "Fuck the tires Just Leave!"
• "How Sweet of him to desire me."
• "He's Gay Pakistani Emmigrant working in a rough Neighborhood, probobaly lonely, and closeted, fearing his co-workers will find out and kill him, but risking intimacy ."
• "Poor thing, Give him a little, he needs some."
• "My Cheap Tires...Fuck"

All this races through my mind Instantly and I take a deep breath, put both hands on his shoulders and Gently, but firmly push him away from me and say No, looking him dead in the eye. I turn around and leave, down the stairs and back into the open air. I feel nothing- but that flushed emergency state, all those alarm chemicals flowing through my veins. There is no room for emotion. I cant summon any clear sense of emotion. Then my mind sais,

• "But what about my cheap tires"
• "Dont leave without your tires"
• "Such a deal"
• "What do I get if I buy 6"

My inner prostitute is strong and wants a deal. Im willing to sell my personal comfort for a discounted tire.

My inner child is pleading for me to leave.

My inner Demon sais, 'Fuck them, torch the place, mother fuckers!"

My inner sex addict sais, 'You've just missed out.'

My recovered self sais, "Call your Sponsor ASAP"

Here's the rub... Ive got to pee so bad I realize that I need to find a bathroom NOW! I ask the man behind the glass window, he directs me Back into the darkness of the shop and as I rush in to find this potentially horrid squallor of a cess-pool bathroom... (You know how gas station bathrooms are..Im suddenly reminded of George Michael's arrest) I find it , Lock the door behind me and realize that Im actually ion a high state of panic. And now safe behind locked door, alone I know how completely upset and angry I actually am. All the emotions rush in. I want to yell and cry at the same time. I look in the mirror and hear myself actually let out a whimper. OK If im whimpering, then I need to take care of my shit and right now. No one fucks with me Damnit! ...my defenses are now engages for batttle.

NOW Im Ultra Firm. I robustly say where's the manager! This is what I was promised, can you deliver. He looks at me goes to his computer, turns around and sais the price has changed since you first cam by. they are now $87. per tire.

In the back of my mind I hear a faint voice of reason, it sounds like my boyfriend Chel, saying, "Never buy cheap tires, it's to risky" Tires should always be a trusted brand, Go to a major chain and pay the money, buy the insurance, get the lifetime rotation, and balancing...

Im suddenly clear...crystal clear. I walk away and get into my car, go straight to Firestone. I dont argue, I dont worry about the price and Never put up with crap. All I wanted was some tires, pretty straightforward, but no I get Groped and Jacked.

I Go directly to Firestone, I walk into the office I hand him my information. He's a 300 lb straight white guy, chewing tobacco, I feel so relieved, My entire body is relaxed and Im calming down. I sense the safety of this place.

Im very calm. Im not afraid. Im not confused. My mind is as quiet as a glass pond at midnight.

You know, our bodies put up with so much crap from us. And still does everything it can to steer us in the right direction. When I listen to my body, my mind stays calmer, and the mental obsessions aren't triggered. My mental committee stays in check.

I wont be Calling to complain, or seeking some sense of restitution for harms done. I Don't want to punish anyone over this. What I want is to really hear my body, to give it the attention and respect it deserves.

I'm going to give my body the attention and respect it deserves. Im going to give myself attention and respect.